Mijn 2012 begon in ieder geval al knallend!!!!!!
Posts tonen met het label Thoughts. Alle posts tonen
Posts tonen met het label Thoughts. Alle posts tonen
maandag 2 januari 2012
maandag 21 november 2011
Ready to start
Ja, ik leef nog (of beter gezegd: weer). En hoe toepasselijk, het beste nummer op dit moment.
woensdag 17 augustus 2011
Gêne in het ziekenhuis
Al sinds een tijdje kom ik regelmatig in het ziekenhuis – niets ernstig, dus geen zorgen. Lopen door een ziekenhuis vind ik fascinerend, telkens vraag ik me af wat dat ene meisje dan heeft, en waarom die oude meneer er is. Ik waan me in een ziekenhuisserie en kijk zeer geïnteresseerd mee in statusmappen en naar röntgenapparaten. Toch levert het ook genante momenten op.
Zo zat ik gisterochtend op een bankje voor de spreekkamers te wachten op een gesprekje met de chirurg. Mijn chirurg kan nogal chaotisch zijn – en dat is hij hopelijk niet in de operatiekamer – maar ik moest extra lang wachten dan normaal. Gelukkig kwam er een aardige zuster met mij praten die vervolgens de vraag stelde die iedereen op de afdeling vraagt als ik langskom: ‘Zijn je ouders er niet?’. Nee natuurlijk zijn die er niet, ik ben eenentwintig en kan heus wel een onschuldig gesprekje met een chirurg voeren. Ik weet dat ik door mijn blonde wenkbrauwen en blokjesbeugel jonger lijk, maar kom op.
Maar dit is natuurlijk best onschuldig. De meest genante gesprekken vinden plaats in de wachtkamers, want eigenlijk wil je daar helemaal niet praten. In ieder geval niet over elkaars ziektebeelden, maar goed waar moet je het ander over hebben. In de, verder lege, wachtkamer bij de anesthesist kwam er een meneer naast mij zitten. Met een schuin oog keek ik op zijn operatieformulier. Een rugoperatie. De meneer vraagt aan mij wat er op mijn papiertje staat. Ik leg hem uit waarom ik hier ben en vertel hoe ze in mijn kaak gaan zagen - altijd een leuk horrorverhaal om te vertellen. De meneer moet lachen en vraagt of ik een vriendje heb. ‘Neuh’, zeg ik. Vertelt de rugpatiënt me vervolgens dat het na de operatie vast helemaal goed gaat komen; ‘Dan ben je vast veel knapper’. Ik praat voortaan niet meer in wachtkamers.
zondag 7 augustus 2011
iFoto
Tijdens het opruimen van de documenten op mijn computer kwam ik ontzettend veel foto's tegen die gemaakt waren met m'n iPod. Vaak een beetje onnozel, en vooral heel erg onscherp. Toch bij deze een kleine selectie:
- Inpakken voor de liftwedstrijd. Wat neem je mee als je niet weet of je je bestemming überhaupt gaat bereiken?! In mijn geval veel jurkjes en een badminton-set (just in case).
- Wolkbreuk boven het huis van de buren. De foto is gemaakt rond zes uur 's avonds. In mijn huis (allemaal vrouwen) leidde de onweer tot Sound of Music-achtige scènes: na een flits sloeg er weer een deur open en na een halfuur zaten we allemaal bij elkaar op de kamer. Wat wel gezellig was, overigens.
- Ons onderzoek! De eerste week van juli was het dan eindelijk klaar. Ik weet niet of ik er al een eerder over heb geschreven, maar ik word heel erg blij van 'ons' onderzoek. Niet omdat het onderwerp nu zo geweldig was, maar vooral omdat het groepje zo gezellig was. En dat terwijl we elkaar niet echt kenden voordat we begonnen. En natuurlijk ook omdat we een heel erg mooi eindcijfer hebben gekregen!
- Terug van de kapper. Moet altijd worden gedocumenteerd. Duh.
- Vierdaagse in mijn straat. Aangezien ik na mijn werk mijn eigen huis niet echt meer kon bereiken besloot ik samen met een vriendin dan gewoon maar te kijken totdat we wel weer konden oversteken. En dat was heel erg leuk :)
maandag 1 augustus 2011
Nog één nachtje slapen..
..en dan wordt het echt mooi weer. Althans, dat wordt er voorspeld. Dan ga ik naar het strand, de nieuwe ELLE lezen en lekker zwemmen.
zaterdag 26 maart 2011
dinsdag 15 februari 2011
Study blues
Het nieuwe semester is nog niet eens 24 uur van start en ik merk dat de studiestress niet alleen alweer op de loer ligt, maar zelfs al een klein beetje zijn intrede doet. Dit heeft ook te maken met dat ik vanochtend een half uur voor mijn eerste college eindelijk besloot welke vakken ik ga volgen dit semester. Wel een heel leuk vak trouwens, eens een beetje wat anders; een vak over toerisme. Misschien bereid dit me ook vast wat voor op de reis die ik hopelijk volgend jaar ga maken als studiepauze (ben ik best wel aan toe). Dat van die reis staat hier nu dus zwart op wit, dus moet het er ook echt van komen! Aan de wilskracht ligt het in elk geval niet, ha.
Ik raak helemaal in de reissferen door het boek dat ik nu lees: Mango's aan boord. Een boek over een zeilreis met heerlijke exotische recepten tussendoor. En wat ook aardig mee helpt: vriendlief die zit te genieten in Thailand en mij stikjaloers maakt!
We proberen af en toe te Skypen, maar de verbinding is helaas niet altijd om over naar huis te schrijven (haha). Zes weken lijkt nog zooooo lang! Maar gelukkig is er een lichtpuntje: Mous is weer terug!
Ik was vandaag erg optimistisch begonnen (eigenlijk gister al, jeetje) met het lezen van literatuur voor de studie, maar genoeg voor vandaag. Liever nog een hoofdstukje uit Mango's aan boord ;)
maandag 7 februari 2011
Februari
Halverwege de winter word ik vaak een beetje sentimenteel en verlang ik sterk terug naar de afgelopen zomer. Veel graden Celsius, geen studiestress en natuurlijk: het festivalgevoel! Vandaar dit filmpje. Het filmpje is geen Oscar waard, maar schetst wel erg goed hoe vet het optreden van Deadmau5 op Lowlands 2010 was (vanaf 1:32 breekt het feest echt los).
Nu ga ik plannen smeden voor komende zomer :D
Nu ga ik plannen smeden voor komende zomer :D
maandag 31 januari 2011
Doe mij maar een pruik
Ik heb besloten dat ik mezelf maar wat moet verwennen deze maanden, dus morgen naar de kapper! Maar wat voor kapsel wordt het? Dilemmadilemmadilemma.
zaterdag 29 januari 2011
zaterdag 15 januari 2011
Leven
Net in de Coffee Company onder het genot van koffie en live muziek (Eurosonic/Noorderslag!) spannende plannen gemaakt met Heleen voor volgend jaar betreffende het buitenland...wordt het studeren, of liever reizen? Stiekem hoop ik dat een van mijn dromen dan misschien wel realiteit wordt: de Transsiberië Express!
zaterdag 8 januari 2011
Development Economics
Economics is an important subject and if everyone understood it a little better, the world would run so much smoother. So why do they make it so impossible to understand?
zaterdag 1 januari 2011
01-01-11
The Awakening
Sonny Carroll
There comes a time in your life when you finally get it ... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out "ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on." And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective.
..........This is your awakening.
You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something or someone to change, or for happiness safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
So you begin making your way through the "reality of today" rather than holding out for the "promise of tomorrow." You realize that much of who you are and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you've received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about :
- how you should look and how much you should weigh,
- what you should wear and where you should shop,
- where you should live or what type of car you should drive,
- who you should sleep with and how you should behave,
- who you should marry and why you should stay,
- the importance of bearing children or what you owe your family,
Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin re-assessing and re-defining who you are and what you really believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should never have practiced to begin with.
You accept the fact that you are not perfect ,and that not everyone will love appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK... they are entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a "perfect 10".... Or a perfect human being for that matter... and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And, you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.
And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover that it is truly in "giving" that we receive, and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the giving. And you recognize the importance of "creating" and "contributing" rather than "obtaining" and "accumulating."
And you give thanks for the simple things you've been blessed with, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about - a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, the freedom of choice and the opportunity to pursue your own dreams.
And you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors, including participating in dysfunctional relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and exercising. And because you've learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make it a point to create time for play.
Then you learn about love and relationships - how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly loves and respects you to glorify you with his touch. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally, and that not everyone will always come through... and interestingly enough, it's not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you or weren't done for you. And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns - anger, jealousy and resentment.
You learn how to say "I was wrong" and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence and grace. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to Say NO. You learn that you don't know all the answers, it's not your job to save the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.
Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships, and that that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it's wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet "your" standards and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that "alone" does not mean "lonely" and you begin to discover the joy of spending time "with yourself" and "on yourself." Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know - Self Love. And so it comes to pass that, through understanding, your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.
Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn't change things and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in the past. So you stop lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. You take a personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and the areas you need to improve in order to move ahead, you set your goals and map out a plan of action to see things through.
You learn that life isn't always fair and you don't always get what you think you deserve, and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment. You learn to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people and that these things are not an act of God... but merely a random act of fate.
And you stop looking for guarantees, because you've learned that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected and that whatever happens, you'll learn to deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time - FEAR itself. So you learn to step right into and through your fears, because to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what you want and not to squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.
Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY... the personal power and independence it brings and the options it creates. And you recognize the necessity to create your own personal wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity because you know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you FAKE a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.
Sonny Carroll
There comes a time in your life when you finally get it ... When in the midst of all your fears and insanity you stop dead in your tracks and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out "ENOUGH! Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on." And, like a child quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and through a mantle of wet lashes you begin to look at the world from a new perspective.
..........This is your awakening.
You realize that it is time to stop hoping and waiting for something or someone to change, or for happiness safety and security to come galloping over the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact that there aren't always fairytale endings (or beginnings for that matter) and that any guarantee of "happily ever after" must begin with you. Then a sense of serenity is born of acceptance.
So you begin making your way through the "reality of today" rather than holding out for the "promise of tomorrow." You realize that much of who you are and the way you navigate through life is, in great part, a result of all the social conditioning you've received over the course of a lifetime. And you begin to sift through all the nonsense you were taught about :
- how you should look and how much you should weigh,
- what you should wear and where you should shop,
- where you should live or what type of car you should drive,
- who you should sleep with and how you should behave,
- who you should marry and why you should stay,
- the importance of bearing children or what you owe your family,
Slowly you begin to open up to new worlds and different points of view. And you begin re-assessing and re-defining who you are and what you really believe in. And you begin to discard the doctrines you have outgrown, or should never have practiced to begin with.
You accept the fact that you are not perfect ,and that not everyone will love appreciate or approve of who or what you are... and that's OK... they are entitled to their own views and opinions. And, you come to terms with the fact that you will never be a size 5 or a "perfect 10".... Or a perfect human being for that matter... and you stop trying to compete with the image inside your head or agonizing over how you compare. And, you take a long look at yourself in the mirror and you make a promise to give yourself the same unconditional love and support you give so freely to others. Then a sense of confidence is born of self-approval.
And, you stop maneuvering through life merely as a "consumer" hungry for your next fix, a new dress, another pair of shoes or looks of approval and admiration from family, friends or even strangers who pass by. Then you discover that it is truly in "giving" that we receive, and that the joy and abundance you seek grows out of the giving. And you recognize the importance of "creating" and "contributing" rather than "obtaining" and "accumulating."
And you give thanks for the simple things you've been blessed with, things that millions of people upon the earth can only dream about - a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed, the freedom of choice and the opportunity to pursue your own dreams.
And you begin to love and to care for yourself. You stop engaging in self-destructive behaviors, including participating in dysfunctional relationships. You begin eating a balanced diet, drinking more water and exercising. And because you've learned that fatigue drains the spirit and creates doubt and fear, you give yourself permission to rest. And just as food is fuel for the body, laughter is fuel for the spirit and so you make it a point to create time for play.
Then you learn about love and relationships - how to love, how much to give in love, when to stop giving, and when to walk away. And you allow only the hands of a lover who truly loves and respects you to glorify you with his touch. You learn that people don't always say what they mean or mean what they say, intentionally or unintentionally, and that not everyone will always come through... and interestingly enough, it's not always about you. So, you stop lashing out and pointing fingers or looking to place blame for the things that were done to you or weren't done for you. And you learn to keep your Ego in check and to acknowledge and redirect the destructive emotions it spawns - anger, jealousy and resentment.
You learn how to say "I was wrong" and to forgive people for their own human frailties. You learn to build bridges instead of walls and about the healing power of love as it is expressed through a kind word, a warm smile or a friendly gesture. And, at the same time, you eliminate any relationships that are hurtful or fail to uplift and edify you. You stop working so hard at smoothing things over and setting your needs aside. You learn that feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK and that it is your right to want or expect certain things. And you learn the importance of communicating your needs with confidence and grace. You learn that the only cross to bear is the one you choose to carry and that eventually martyrs are burned at the stake. Then you learn to distinguish between guilt, and responsibility and the importance of setting boundaries and learning to Say NO. You learn that you don't know all the answers, it's not your job to save the world and that sometimes you just need to Let Go.
Moreover, you learn to look at people as they really are and not as you would want them to be, and you are careful not to project your neediness or insecurities onto a relationship. You learn that you will not be more beautiful, more intelligent, more lovable or important because of the man on your arm or the child that bears your name. You learn that just as people grow and change, so it is with love and relationships, and that that not everyone can always love you the way you would want them to. So you stop appraising your worth by the measure of love you are given. And suddenly you realize that it's wrong to demand that someone live their life or sacrifice their dreams just to serve your needs, ease your insecurities, or meet "your" standards and expectations. You learn that the only love worth giving and receiving is the love that is given freely without conditions or limitations. And you learn what it means to love. So you stop trying to control people, situations and outcomes. You learn that "alone" does not mean "lonely" and you begin to discover the joy of spending time "with yourself" and "on yourself." Then you discover the greatest and most fulfilling love you will ever know - Self Love. And so it comes to pass that, through understanding, your heart heals; and now all new things are possible.
Moving along, you begin to avoid Toxic people and conversations. And you stop wasting time and energy rehashing your situation with family and friends. You learn that talk doesn't change things and that unrequited wishes can only serve to keep you trapped in the past. So you stop lamenting over what could or should have been and you make a decision to leave the past behind. Then you begin to invest your time and energy to affect positive change. You take a personal inventory of all your strengths and weaknesses and the areas you need to improve in order to move ahead, you set your goals and map out a plan of action to see things through.
You learn that life isn't always fair and you don't always get what you think you deserve, and you stop personalizing every loss or disappointment. You learn to accept that sometimes bad things happen to good people and that these things are not an act of God... but merely a random act of fate.
And you stop looking for guarantees, because you've learned that the only thing you can really count on is the unexpected and that whatever happens, you'll learn to deal with it. And you learn that the only thing you must truly fear is the great robber baron of all time - FEAR itself. So you learn to step right into and through your fears, because to give into fear is to give away the right to live life on your terms. You learn that much of life truly is a self-fulfilling prophesy and you learn to go after what you want and not to squander your life living under a cloud of indecision or feelings of impending doom.
Then, YOU LEARN ABOUT MONEY... the personal power and independence it brings and the options it creates. And you recognize the necessity to create your own personal wealth. Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never ever settle for less than your heart's desire. And a sense of power is born of self-reliance. And you live with honor and integrity because you know that these principles are not the outdated ideals of a by-gone era but the mortar that holds together the foundation upon which you must build your life. And you make it a point to keep smiling, to keep trusting and to stay open to every wonderful opportunity and exciting possibility. Then you hang a wind chime outside your window to remind yourself what beauty there is in Simplicity.
Finally, with courage in your heart and with God by your side you take a stand, you FAKE a deep breath and you begin to design the life you want to live as best as you can.
donderdag 30 december 2010
Vicky
Social Worker:Vicky, where is your baby?
Vicky Pollard: Swapped it for a Westlife CD.
Social Worker: Vicky, how could you do such a thing?
Vicky Pollard: I know. They're rubbish
Vicky Pollard: Swapped it for a Westlife CD.
Social Worker: Vicky, how could you do such a thing?
Vicky Pollard: I know. They're rubbish
vrijdag 24 december 2010
Anthropology
There's a common belief among anthropologists that you must immerse yourself in an unfamiliar world in order to truly understand your own. But my desire to be an observer of life was actually keeping me from having one.
maandag 20 december 2010
Nog een paar dagen
Net stoofpeertjes gemaakt voor een kerstdiner vanavond, met 3FM serious request op de radio erbij voor de gezelligheid en de nodige kerstsfeer.
Ik heb echt zin in een paar vrije dagen (i.e. kerst), aangezien de RuG denkt dat het normaal is haar studenten maar één week kerstvakantie te geven. In de komende paar weken moet ik echt absurd veel werk verzetten, daarna heb ik misschien nog iets dat op vakantie lijkt (als ik alle tentamens haal).
Je merkt het, ik ben moe en wel klaar met dit semester ;) Gelukkig zijn de stoofpeertjes goed gelukt, mjam.
Ik heb echt zin in een paar vrije dagen (i.e. kerst), aangezien de RuG denkt dat het normaal is haar studenten maar één week kerstvakantie te geven. In de komende paar weken moet ik echt absurd veel werk verzetten, daarna heb ik misschien nog iets dat op vakantie lijkt (als ik alle tentamens haal).
Je merkt het, ik ben moe en wel klaar met dit semester ;) Gelukkig zijn de stoofpeertjes goed gelukt, mjam.
zondag 28 november 2010
maandag 22 november 2010
maandag 15 november 2010
Verjaardag
Het was vorige maand twee jaar geleden dat we deze blog zijn begonnen. Dat we onze eigen verjaardag vergeten zijn is misschien wel tekenend. De illustere gedachte om te stoppen met bloggen komt bij me op. Ik blader terug naar de eerste berichten en moet lachen. Lachen om de liedjes die we leuk vonden, de dingen die we deden en de verhaaltjes die we schreven. Herinneringen komen naar boven. Fijne herinneringen naar onbevangen momenten en momenten die ik al volledig vergeten was. En daarom gaan we gewoon door met schrijven. Omdat je ze anders vergeet. Net als je eigen verjaardag.
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